As the school year limps to a close, I have a distinct picture of myself as that runner who is carried to the finish line of the race– sweaty and cramped– by her fellow runners. I want to take this moment to thank my fellow runners of sorts — the people who on a daily basis carry me to the finish line — my carpool driving partners.  → Read More

If life is less about what happens to us than how we respond, the same holds true for our children who bear witness to our lives, values, choices and attitudes, day in and day out. They absorb the good and bad, the fair and unfair, forming opinions about the world that have the power to influence and shape the very course of their lives. As a mother, I am acutely aware of this, ever mindful that I am my daughter’s first and most important role model for what it means to be female in this world — at home, at work, and in life at-large.  → Read More

Last month, the Huffington Post tackled advice for newborn dads and they fumbled. Their tips included sideline jobs of parenting like learning the car seat and keeping the pantry stocked. Really? We are going to help new dads looking to be more involved by giving them handymen tasks? Any dad looking for advice is looking to be involved. This list alienates by assigning new dads tasks that keep them from actively engaging in parenthood. If dads are coming to a parenting blog for advice, they are ready to raise the bar. It’s time parenting professionals get on board and support them.  → Read More

When my neighbors in Oakland tried to set me up with their friend Ken in 2004, I declined. I found out later he’d declined too. We were both mid-thirties and focused on our careers, settled into the decision not to marry or have kids. Then we got to talking at a party hosted by my neighbors. We got engaged on our third date and had a daughter in the first year of being married. She’s now seven and, though she rolls her eyes at it, we call her by the nickname Bean.  → Read More

I have been reading a lot about “Leaning In” and “Opting Out” lately and debating the merits of working motherhood vs. staying at home. There are countless factors that play into every woman’s decision but recently I found there are two main factors that weigh on my mind: daycare costs and income disparity.  → Read More

Almost immediately after he was born, we realized my son, Zack, was a very challenging baby. He did not cry; he screamed. He was incredibly difficult to take care of and soothe.
As he became a toddler, he began to have lengthy rages sparked by the most minor incident. His unpredictable rages could, and would, last hours. They would begin in a flash and he would literally turn into an unrecognizable child. Then when they were over he would return to a sweet, loving, and remorseful little boy.  → Read More

When my own son, who has Asperger Syndrome, started coming home from school saying he hated his life, I understood.
Henry’s * a great kid. He’s smart and kind and well-behaved. But he doesn’t quite fit in. Managing a traditional school day is stressful for him, so when things don’t go as planned, he often falls apart. When he was younger, this wasn’t such a problem. But by fifth grade, the social gaps between him and his peers had grown much wider.  → Read More

When I got pregnant, I swore up and down that I would not become one of the many women I knew, both personally and as a reader, whose release from the maternity ward came with what felt like a requirement to shelve their previous interests and write about motherhood. Not me, I said: babies be damned, I’ll write instead about religion, ideology, and sometimes war. But once I became a mother, I quickly learned that motherhood in America is religion and ideology. And it is war.
But it’s not the right war.  → Read More