The Shriver Report – Rebuilding After Divorce: From An Ocean View To So Much More
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Rebuilding After Divorce: From An Ocean View To So Much More

jana 1 (1)I was born independent. I had an unbelievable drive inside myself to make money even before it was legal for me to get a job. I sold cherry tomatoes that I grew, door to door in my neighborhood, when I was 12. I washed cars, pulled weeds in people’s yards, just waiting until I was 16 so I could get a ‘real’ job.

When I was 18, I moved out of my family home just three days after graduating from high school, and I didn’t even own a car. I just wanted to be out, fending for myself; it had nothing to do with my relationship with my parents. I spent my 20s taking some college classes, working in sales and waiting tables. In my early 30s I got married and continued working, mostly in direct mail advertising.

When I got pregnant with my son I was over the moon with excitement. The day he was born changed everything, and I mean everything. My husband was old school and didn’t want me to continue working. His career afforded us financial security and he wanted our son to be raised by a stay-at-home mom. I agreed, not realizing at the time how this was going to affect me and everything I thought I was.

I spent almost 12 years doing what moms do; laundry, grocery shopping, housework, volunteering at school, etc. We bought a beautiful home on a hill that had a view of San Diego and the ocean. We went on vacations and stayed in 5 star resorts. I could have driven any automobile that I wanted to, and I did. My dream car turned out to be a truck.

Two out of three families depend on the wages of working moms.
A Woman's Nation Pushes Back From The Brink

My life on the outside looked picture perfect, but inside myself I always felt just a bit ‘off.’ I’ve never been able to pin-point exactly when I snapped, but I realized at one point that I wasn’t happy the way people who are married are supposed to be. And I also knew that I wasn’t giving my husband the love and affection that he deserved. It was a hard decision, and one I thought about for a long time, but I ended up telling him I wanted out. I wanted a divorce.

The guilt I felt was enormous. My son’s feelings were crushed. I was responsible for a lot of people’s pain but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I spared my husband financially by not taking near what the courts said I was entitled to. I just didn’t think it was right. I was able to buy a small house in our town so my son could continue to be with his friends, stay in the same school and see his dad as often as he wanted. We share custody so that part was easy.

During this monumental change in just about everything in my life, I realized I needed to get back to work. I had a few years of support from my ex-husband, but after that I was going to be on my own, totally. I needed to start building a business of some kind that would provide for me financially over the years. I had already been using alternative medicines for my own healthcare so I decided to make it my business and generate followers through a website and blog. A friend of mine is a website designer and he built me a wonderful tool that has gone global in readership. I am very passionate about the message I am sending out and I also like to write about positive thinking and The Law of Attraction.

I believe in my heart that we are all capable of achieving our goals if we just don’t waver from our desire. I get up every morning and I write. I have done this for the past 2+ years and my business is growing and my message is being taken seriously. And the things that I am sharing with people are making a difference in their lives. This is the best feeling for me. I get to do what I love and it’s helping others too. And all this came from forward movement…you can achieve anything if you don’t take your eyes off your goal. There’s an old saying that I love: If you want it, work for it. It’s that simple.

Jana Tzinberg is a Reporter for The Shriver Report.
Jana Tzinberg is a published author, speaker and teacher in the subject of alternative health.
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