The Shriver Report – Sabrina Jenkins
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Sabrina Jenkins

I was born in New York City and spent the first 9 years of my life living in Harlem, the upper west side of Manhattan.  My parents separated before I was 2 years old.  I have only one memory of my father and that was at his funeral.  My father was killed when I was 5 years old.  The only thing I really know is that my father was in the Air Force and I have 2 brothers that I have never met.  I would love to meet them, but I am not sure they are aware of my existence.  My mother was a single parent, with a young child, working as a bank teller.  We lived in a 1 bedroom apartment, in what many considered not the greatest neighborhood.  See, back then Harlem was considered the “ghetto”.  Although money was tight, she somehow managed to send me to Catholic school.  Every morning we rode the bus downtown, my school was located on East 68th Street, what is referred to as Midtown Manhattan.  My school, St. Vincent’s, had a diverse population that I often called the United Nations.

Shortly before my 10th birthday my mother re-married.  We moved to the suburbs of New Jersey and my mother had another girl, my sister Michelle Alice.  This in and of itself was a major shock to my system.  Suddenly I became the only African-American person in my entire school, Kindergarten through 8th grade.  I had never been taught color, nor did I care about the color of someone’s skin.  It didn’t really hit for another two years, when in the 5th grade one of my classmate called me the ‘N’ word.  I simply turned around and quoted him the definition of that word, but things changed for me.  I continued in Catholic school for all 12 years of school, attending an all-girls high school.

I went to college for 2 years of college and then went into the Air Force for a few years.  I decided to leave the Air Force when my mother became ill.  It wasn’t until she lost all kidney function and was placed on dialysis 3 times per week that she was diagnosed with Lupus.  Then on February 14, 1990, her UNOS pager went off, they had found a kidney for my mother.

In 1997, I had my daughter.  She was named Kenya Simone.  She was the apple of my mother’s eye.  Then in 2000, I became a single parent and my mother’s condition began to deteriorate.  In addition, my closest cousin, Greg, was diagnosed with HIV related pneumonia and passed away in April of 2001.  In July of 2001 came the call I had always feared, my mother had a major stroke and there was nothing the doctors could do.  She was on life support.  I sat with my mother and spoke to her.  No matter what people say, I know she heard me, a few tears ran down her face as I told her that I loved her and it was alright for her to let go.   My dad; he is actually my step-dad, but he is the best father anyone could ever ask for; and I went to the hospital and spoke with the doctors.  We decided it was best to turn off all life support and my mother was moved to the hospice wing.  Three days later my mother passed away without ever regaining consciousness.  The following June, Greg’s brother Corey was killed in a car accident while stationed in Germany.  Talk about a rough year and a half.

There I was with a 4 year old, a single parent, struggling to make ends meet and dealing with the loss of my mother and my 2 cousins.  Kenya’s father was not paying any child support.  In 2004 we moved to Chesapeake, VA.  I began what turned out to be an 8 year relationship with a man who was in the Navy.  We purchased a home together, I thought this was the relationship that I was waiting for and had always wanted.  In 2008, at the age of 40, I decided to finish my education.  I began taking classes towards a Bachelor’s degree in Security Management at DeVry University.  At that time I was only working part-time for TSA at Norfolk Airport.  Shortly thereafter, I began working full-time, but still continued school on a full-time basis, going to school year round.  I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I was hospitalized with a blood clot in my lung.  I didn’t let the pain of the disease hold me back.  In 2010, I graduated with a 3.78 GPA, I had another blood clot in my lung, I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, my relationship was rocky and one of my mother’s brothers was ill.  My uncle lived in SC.  I began travelling between SC and VA on a regular basis.  Within a few months, my uncle had to be placed in a nursing home, early onset Alzheimer’s.  I was made his power of attorney.  I also decided to continue my education and obtain my Master’s degree.  I began classes, still on a full-time basis for Human Resource Management.  In the spring of 2012, I decided that I wanted to move on with my life.  I began the process of relocating to SC.  My relationship was essentially over and I wanted to be near my family.  In August was offered a job as the HR Officer/ Executive Assistant at the Charleston County Housing Authority.  I has just finished my Master’s with a 3.71 GPA and was ready for a change.  In September, my daughter and I packed up and moved to SC.  I agreed to continue to help with the household bills in VA until the house could be sold.  Within two weeks of moving, my uncle passed away.

So, here we are today.  I am living with Rheumatoid Arthritis, a blood clotting disorder and Interstitial Lung Disease.  I take 8 medications, 6 pills daily and 2 injectable weekly.    I have just recently started re-paying my student loans.  At this time I have almost $90,000 in student loans.  This along with supporting 2 households, the house in VA has not yet been sold.  My daughter is almost 16 and about to start her junior year in high school.  She wants to attend college, this will inevitable mean more student loans.  My daughter is active in two sports, softball and bowling.  This requires purchasing equipment, good equipment is not cheap.  I do receive some child support at this point but her father is still over $35,000 in arrears.  It is my plan to pursue my Doctorate, but at this point I cannot afford to incur any more debt.  I have my good days and my bad, as my Rheumatoid Arthritis goes in and out of remission.  Some days the pain is excruciating, but I press on.  At some point I will need knee replacements, hopefully that is a long way off.  I instill in my daughter the importance of an education and not taking anything for granted.  Somehow, I will figure this entire situation out as my mother raised a strong, intelligent and resourceful woman.

 

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