The Shriver Report – Fighting Child Abuse with Love, Not Fear
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Fighting Child Abuse with Love, Not Fear
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It’s not rocket science but it is complex and it is emotional, and that’s where we get stuck. We hear the stories, are confused by the statistics, and tune out and turn away, especially if unresolved abuse is part of our history.

It’s overwhelming. I have seen it as an advocate, lived it as a survivor, and I am continuously reminded of its influence through my work in human behavior and potential. People just don’t want to talk about it.

We would much rather wave a magic wand or identify the one thing that will change everything. But it’s not that kind of fix.

We are all touched by the dynamic of child abuse and the fix requires our individual and collective energies. Child abuse thrives in an environment of fear – of others, of being without, of criticism, disapproval, and failure.

Yet it’s not all about fear. It is also about love. Fear is a powerful force but its single intention is a loving one – to protect us from harm.

For example, we are not afraid of fire but its potential to burn. We don’t fear heights but of being hurt, even dying from the fall. It’s not commitment that leaves us shaking, but the fear that our love will not be returned. And we are not afraid of love. We are afraid of not being loved. When we focus on the fear a wall goes up.

Unfortunately, that wall tends to limit our perspective and provides fewer healthy choices. Fear serves as a reminder to stop and assess before we act. That’s it! And if, in that moment of assessment, we make the loving choice, our world shifts in wonderful ways.

To prevent child abuse we all need to step up, particularly women, in as many ways as we can to produce a continuous flow of compassionate and positive behavior. Our world – in education, politics, economics, relationships, health, mind, body, and spirit – has been influenced by a gender energy imbalance for way too long.

Women are the key to this change. And as more women rise, they teach other women and girls, men and boys valuable lessons that drift through every facet of our lives. The best part of this strategy is it likely involves things you are already doing or you’ve always wished you could do.

Imagine a world where people are appreciated, cherished, encouraged, and supported – one that recognizes the fundamental value of its inhabitants in equality and perfection. Hold that vision in your heart and let it guide you in your decisions, whether individually or in connection with others. Because it doesn’t matter if we do it “right;” it matters that it be done.

I can easily name 101 things we can do to prevent child abuse, but if I had to choose one, it would be to love more. Here are 7 ways to create a more loving environment for everyone.

Talk and listen to your children. Show that you care about their ideas, concerns, and feelings. To the child this says, “I want to hear what you have to say. You are important to me.” By the way, it is the same for adults.

Demonstrate respect by treating others as if they, too, have value. It is what we expect in return.

Take care of yourself. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about providing the consideration and nurturing you deserve. The better you feel, the more love you radiate.

Speak up for justice and for those less able. Your passion can be the light for others to follow.

Join a positive women/men’s group – share what works for you and learn what works for others.

Focus on peace and compassion. They are always present. It is simply a matter of being willing to see and choose on their behalf.

Be an inspiration! Your story, ideas, talents, kindness, and presence can make all the difference to one person or to many.

Love more because, when all is said and done, love is all there is. It resides in each and every one of us waiting to be released, shared, expressed, and experienced in its fullness. It inspires us to be true and, like the air we breathe, it connects us to everything. Love a whole lot more.

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Tagsabuse, fear
Debbie Jenae is a Reporter for The Shriver Report.
Debbie Jenae is the Founder of Inspired 101, a resource for positive action, advocacy, and healing. She wrote and published Be An Inspiration! 101 Things You Can Do To Prevent Child Abuse to provide an uplifting collection of suggestions, ideas, and resources for survivors, caregivers, and anyone who wants to help break the cycle of abuse.
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